Season Five

'''5.01: The Road So Far To Season Five. '''

In the season five opener, clips from the past four seasons are shown. Memories are relived, old wounds are revisited, and fabulous parties are brought back to life. So sit back, relax, and catch up on what's happened so far on the road to season five.

(The episode was done in this format because of time restraints due to the events in Defying Gravity.)

''Original Air Date:  October 1st 2014. ''

'''5.02: Frequently Asked Questions. '''

Callum sits down in the living room of his mansion, all cameras on him, to answer questions asked by fans via Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc. Callum's boyfriend, Niall Horan, also drops by to answer some One Direction-related questions as well as to flaunt his new relationship with Callum in the world's face. "Yeah, fuck you world, we're hot and dating!"

''Original Air Date:  October 8th 2014. ''

'''5.03: Rejected. (Part I) '''

It's been months since Callum last heard from his good friend Alexx, so he decides to call him up and arrange a lunch date with he and Demi Lovato, possibly having a double date-type thing go on, but Alexx doesn't answer the phone. Not a big deal, right? Not right. The next night Callum tunes into an episode of A Unicorn Named Alexx only to see that the film crews caught Alexx purposely screen Callum's call and then bitch about him to his wife Demi Lovato. Callum is furious, so he does the only think he can think of: Declare a reality TV show war.

''Original Air Date:  October 15th 2014. ''

'''5.04: The "Live" Reality TV Show War! (Part II) '''

In the series very first live episode, Callum sits in his mansion with boyfriend Niall Horan doing nothing but slamming Alexx to the cameras. Things get super intense, especially once Callum starts revealing some of Alexx's deepest and darkest secrets. He really wants his friend(?) to know that he's not taking the diss likely. But then, half way through the episode, Alexx and Demi Lovato storm into the mansion follow by theircamera crew. Insults fly, fights break out all over the room (Callum and Alexx, Niall and Demi Lovato, etc.) when suddenly a shocking cliffhanger ends it all. Alexx Hiotis and Demi Lovato guest star.

This is the second crossover episode between Living Callum and A Unicorn Named Alexx.

''<font FACE="georgia">Original Air Date:  <span style="color:rgb(100,100,100);font-family:georgia;text-align:center;">October 17th 2014. ''

'''<font FACE="georgia">5.05: <span style="color:rgb(255,17,17);">What? (Part III) '''

This episode continues directly after the final moments of the previous episode: Brandon is back! That's right, Brandon, who hasn't been seen since his death at the end of the first season. That's right, his death. Brandon's sudden and unexpected return obviously ends the feud between Alexx and Callum, and Brandon then goes into the long explanation about how he survived: Brandon reveals that he is actually an alien from Mars, who hid(es) his alien appearance with transformation technology built on Mars. Aliens from Mars have three extra lives, so if they're killed (Like Brandon was by the celebrity kidnapper) they respawn back on the red planet. So Brandon, who respawned way back during Season 2, couldn't return because Gemmite's royal parents had forbidden travel between Mars and Earth after Callum broke Gemmite's heart. Finally, unable to take being away from Earth, Brandon stole a spaceship and illegally traveled back.

<font FACE="georgia">Thrilled with the return of their friend, Callum and Alexx's fight sparks once up again when they both ask Brandon to be on their TV shows. Now that he's back and ready for action, which show will Brandon give his loyalty too?

<font FACE="georgia">Alexx Hiotis guest stars and this episode marks the first appearance of Brandon Miller since the first season episode "2013 And We're Still Kicking It, Bitches!"

''<font FACE="georgia">Original Air Date:  <span style="color:rgb(100,100,100);font-family:georgia;text-align:center;">October 18th 2014. ''

'''<font FACE="georgia">5.06: <span style="color:rgb(255,17,17);">The Hot Body Auction! '''

Now that Brandon has made his decision to travel back-and-forth as to appear in bothhis friend's shows, he starts off by going with Callum to the Japan-hosted Hot Body Auction. The Hot Body Auction is an annual affair where extremely attractive men and women are auctioned off the highest bidder, and boy do Callum and Brandon have money to spend.

''<font FACE="georgia">Original Air Date:  <span style="color:rgb(100,100,100);font-family:georgia;text-align:center;">October 25th 2014. ''

'''<font FACE="georgia">5.07: <span style="color:rgb(255,17,17);">Bleach Blondes And Seventy Seven Sevens. '''

On the last day before Brandon jets off to appear on A Unicorn Named Alexx, Callum and Brandon book a spa say at the Seventy Seven Sevens, a celebrity-only spa that caters only to the richest of the rich, considering every serve they provide costs $777. Aside from manicures and facial scrubs, Callum also makes the decision to go blonde.

''<font FACE="georgia">Original Air Date:  <span style="color:rgb(100,100,100);font-family:georgia;text-align:center;">October 29th 2014. ''

'''<font FACE="georgia">5.08: <span style="color:rgb(255,17,17);">Pl@tinum And Only Going Golder, Bitches. '''

Brandon's gone and Callum's pretty bummed out about it, so what is there that could possibly raise his spirits? Oh, well how about the fact that his album has gone double platinum! It seems that the world loves his auto-tuned vocals, for some reason Callum can't understand. But he takes the good news in stride! That is, until something happens that he never expected to happen to him. Ever. Callum is shocked to discover that he has been slapped with a big old lawsuit.

''<font FACE="georgia">Original Air Date:  <span style="color:rgb(100,100,100);font-family:georgia;text-align:center;">October 30th 2014. ''

'''<font FACE="georgia">5.09: <span style="color:rgb(255,17,17);">The Living Lohan Affair. '''

Lindsay Lohan's scum-of-the-earth family has decided to start up their fame whoring ways once again. It seems that Dina and Ali Lohan, stars of the failed reality TV show Living Lohan from 2008, think that Callum ripped off the title of his worldwide success Living Callum from them. And knowing the money-hungry Lohan's, they're taking him to court in attempt to get some media attention and money! Well Callum's not taking this bullshit laying down, oh no. He's called his lawyers and is ready for a reality TV show name smack down!

<font FACE="georgia">The title of this episode is a play on the series pilot "The Lohan Affair."

''<font FACE="georgia">Original Air Date:  <span style="color:rgb(100,100,100);font-family:georgia;text-align:center;">November 7th 2014. ''

'''<font FACE="georgia">5.10: <span style="color:rgb(255,17,17);">Getaway. '''

Stressed over his current lawsuit battle with the Lohan's, Callum's long-term boyfriend Niall Horan surprises him with a romantic getaway to Hawaii for the weekend.

''<font FACE="georgia">Original Air Date:  <span style="color:rgb(100,100,100);font-family:georgia;text-align:center;">November 10th 2014. ''

'''<font FACE="georgia">5.11: <span style="color:rgb(255,17,17);">Heart To Heart. '''

In this episode, Brandon returns having learned about the events following his Season One death from Alexx. He sits Callum down to have a long talk about his cocaine addiction, and how he reacted overall to his friend's death. In this emotional two-person-only episode all the cards are laid on the table, and nothing is kept back. Nothing.

''<font FACE="georgia">Original Air Date:  <span style="color:rgb(100,100,100);font-family:georgia;text-align:center;">November 23rd 2014. ''

'''<font FACE="georgia">5.12: <span style="color:rgb(255,17,17);">A Plea From The Only Respectable Lohan! '''

Callum, while preparing with his lawyers for the oncoming title battle between himself and Dina Lohan, Lindsay Lohan makes an unexpected appearance in order to beg Callum to just pay off her family so the media drama will end. Tune in to see how that goes...

''<font FACE="georgia">Original Air Date:  <span style="color:rgb(100,100,100);font-family:georgia;text-align:center;">November 30th 2014. ''

'''<font FACE="georgia">5.13: <span style="color:rgb(255,17,17);">The Fight Of His Life. '''

The court battle between Callum and Dina Lohan begins in this episode. The honorable and celebrity Judge Judy resides over the whole ordeal. Dina begins by dishing all about her family life, their problems and whatnot. It actually gets to the point when the judge needs to remind her to keep to the point. Typical Dina. Ali Lohan then starts going on about how their failed show Living Lohan was on TV before Living Callum, so the title is obviously a rip off. Callum then has his turn and explains to the nice judge that the Lohan's are just out for media attention and money. Lindsay Lohan is spotted in the audience, clearly displeased with the entire thing.

<font FACE="georgia">And that's when tragedy strikes, leaving a cliffhanger no one saw coming. Again.

''<font FACE="georgia">Original Air Date:  <span style="color:rgb(100,100,100);font-family:georgia;text-align:center;">December 1st 2014. ''

'''<font FACE="georgia">5.14: <span style="color:rgb(255,17,17);">What They Died For. ''' Dina and Ali Lohan are dead! Having both collapsed in the middle of the court hearing, they were rushed to the nearest hospital where they were shortly later pronounced dead. While it is inconclusive as to how they died just yet, all major television signals went blank shortly after their demise, displaying a message stating "The Equalists are coming." Those were also the final words of The Rogue Duck Man, who had ties to the Celebrity Kidnapper/Murderer. Shortly after this, Callum is taken into custody by the F.B.I, who reveal that they've been trying to figure out what's been going on for a long time now. First the Celebrity Kidnapper/Murderer, then The Rogue Duck Man, and now this? Clearly someone, or something, is targeting celebrities. What could "The Equalists" be? And what do they/he/she want, besides certain celebrities dead?

''<font FACE="georgia">Original Air Date:  <span style="color:rgb(100,100,100);font-family:georgia;text-align:center;">December 2nd 2014. ''

'''<font FACE="georgia">5.15: <span style="color:rgb(255,17,17);">And Here's What Comes Next... '''

After the revelation that Dina and Ali Lohan had been poisoned by some unknown person and that there seem to be no other current threats on anyone else's life, Callum is released from F.B.I custody into the arms of his lover Niall Horan. Niall quickly whisks Callum off to a quiet, private place to recuperate from all of the recent events.

''<font FACE="georgia">Original Air Date:  <span style="color:rgb(100,100,100);font-family:georgia;text-align:center;">December 10th 2014. ''